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Be the Daughter-In-Law that Your Mother-In-Law Always Wanted to Have

February 26, 2010 by  
Filed under Married Life

Most women who are able to maintain good relationships with their mother-in-laws are considered extremely lucky these days. Apparently, this is not the same circumstance shared by many and majority of the married lot have gone on and lived to tell their sorry tales. It’s no wonder, mother-in-law jokes and anecdotes abound, some eerily true, others endearingly funny and most grossly spurious. One can’t help but think that some of these may have been intentionally concocted to send tiny shivers of apprehensions down the spines of nervous brides. Nevertheless, these stories have become good starting points for getting relevant advice on relationship when dealing with your mother-in-law, in particular – the other woman in your husband’s life.

According to Dr. Laura Schlessinger, military mom and a family counselor, there are four important things to remember when dealing with your mother-in-law: Understand, Empathize, Communicate and Plan. Like your marriage, your relationship with your mother-in-law also requires constant work. It’s not as if you expect to gain a lifetime fan the very minute you say “I Do”, right? So the most important advice on relationship from Schlessinger is commitment to making your marriage work and taking on extended family members.

Understand that your friend’s success or woes about her relationship with her mother-in-law has its own unique challenges, so don’t make comparisons. If this is the case, you are on your way to developing a bad case of nerves, stressing yourself out with senseless anxieties. Take time to empathize with your mother-in-law’s point of view. It can be difficult for mothers to totally let go of their sons and relinquish him to another female species. Give her time to adjust and by all means do no hesitate to reach out and offer subtle gestures to warmth and affection.
According to Schlessinger, it is also a good idea to communicate with your mother-in-law, most especially if your husband is away. You can provide her regular updates on her son’s well-being. This is a simple gesture that she will greatly appreciate. Remember, while you are married to the man, she is first and foremost the parent, so never undermine that role.
Lastly, make plans for reunions and family parties. There is no better way to make sure she does not feel excluded and left out in the family by regularly invitingly her during special occasions. Schlessinger’s advice on relationship is actually quite simple and yet, effectively helps forge a stronger bond between young wives and their mother-in-laws.

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Mother-in-Law Survival Guide

February 12, 2010 by  
Filed under Married Life

Sure, we have heard a lot of horror stories and funny anecdotes on marriages and relationships gone sour due to meddling mother-in-laws. In fact, it wouldn’t be surprising to discover that the very definition of mother-in-law has become synonymous to “manipulative”, “overbearing” and “scheming”. But how does one become a mother-in-law, and what is exactly the job description this new role entails? There have been limited, if any, instructional guides and resources that provide advice on relationships with your son’s spouse and what is expected of you in this new “job”.

For doting mothers, it can be heartbreaking to finally handing over the care of her precious son to someone else. Of course, there is also that little fact that you could no longer show up at your son’s doorsteps on impulse without appearing overly intrusive or attracting apprehension or suspicion from the wife. Where do you exactly fit in, anyway?

Advice on relationships is more often made available to new brides dealing with difficult mother-in-laws and monster moms. According to the American Sociological Association, there is very minimal research conducted on this particular relationship, and some studies have shown that there are very little expectations for such relationship to actually thrive. In fact, Deborah Merill, author of “Mother-in-Law and Daughter-in-Law Relationships in Later Life: The Impact of Geographic and Occupational Mobility” claims that the essential and fundamental factors that would determine the value as well as quality of the relationship are too often not sufficiently explored.

But let us all take delight in the fact that not all mother-in-laws live up to the notorious reputation society has painted them out to be. It is a pity that the term “mother-in-law” invokes a series of not-so-appealing connotations. However, experts advice on relationships between daughter-in-laws and mother-in-laws, the former should be treated as just a third party who took away your beloved son, but an additional daughter to care for just like your very own.

It greatly helps to avoid dishing out unsolicited advice and invite your daughter-in-law’s opinion instead. Marital woes of the couple should also remain in the family and should not be subjected and dissected at the leisure with your friends. Above all, treat your daughter-in-law with utmost respect and warmth. After all, the transition and adjustments she has to go through with her marriage are overwhelming enough, to say the least. It would be a welcome and comforting thought that she has the support and encouragement of her mother-in-law.

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17 and Pregnant – What Now?

February 7, 2010 by  
Filed under Teenage Relationships

For any teenager, watching two red lines gradually show on the pregnancy test kit can be an immensely horrifying and devastating experience. Whether you are still reeling from the impact of an unplanned pregnancy, or breaking out in cold sweats at the prospect of having to tell your parents the news, no teenager should go through this highly stressful phase in their lives alone. There are a number of concerns that need to be attended to when it comes to teenage pregnancy. Teen relationship advice is very crucial in helping young expectant parents come into terms with the reality of the situation and how the pregnancy would affect their lives.

Let’s admit it, whether you are 17 or 37, an unplanned pregnancy is a major life-changing event, especially among women. For teenagers, they also have to deal with raging hormones and volatile emotions on top of everything else. More often than not, without teen relationship advice and guidance from adults, young couples everything to grow resentful of the unwanted situation they find themselves in and eventually break up, causing wrenching emotional havoc to both parties, and possibly posing serious health risks on the mother and the baby.

Coping with pregnancy as a scared and confused young parent can be overwhelming, even with the full support and encouragement by family members. In fact, according to the Centers for Disease Control, too much emotional and mental stress puts a big toll on a teen’s body, resulting to the difficulty of attaining and maintaining the proper body weight required during pregnancy. Statistics show that babies are more likely to be born prematurely and with considerably lower birth weight from teenage parents than from physically and emotionally mature mothers.

When it comes to dealing with pregnancy, teen relationship advice is important in helping you both accept and understand the full implications of the situation, as well as the available options. For unwanted pregnancies, common preferences include pursuing parenthood, giving up the baby for adoption and termination of pregnancy. There are also safe havens such as The Newborn Lifeline Network and Project Cuddle in United States and Canada offering free assistance to pregnant women in distress and in dire need of teen relationship advice and support. The struggles of pregnancy are best shared to fellow teens that are also in the same situation. Joining teen pregnancy support groups have been known to be quite helpful.

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Domestic Partnership vs. Marriage – Which one is for you?

February 2, 2010 by  
Filed under Weddings

These days, you have several options when you choose to be with your loved one. You can go for a live-in arrangement, domestic partnership, or marriage. Each comes with its own pros and cons, and deciding on the best option will depend on your beliefs, tradition and personal principles. If you’re confused, you can read about love and relationship advice found below regarding the differences of a domestic partnership and marriage.

Domestic partnership is an option for couples, whether same sex or not, to define their relationship status legally. Deciding on which arrangement is suitable for you – domestic partnership or marriage – will affect how you plan to live in the future.

Aside from your personal principles, love and relationship advice suggests that serious considerations have to be taken when choosing between domestic partnership and marriage.

For one, the rights in a domestic partnership are not portable from state to state in the United States, the way marriages are. This means that a couple who is registered as domestic partners in a particular state may not carry their rights as domestic partners in another state. They will only be guaranteed and honored in the place of registration.

If your loved one is not a U.S. citizen, domestic partnership won’t be able to qualify your non-citizen partner for a green card status. Also, unlike marriage, a domestic partner does not automatically become the parent of a child the other partner adopts or gives birth to. However, some jurisdictions allow domestic partners to adopt one another’s children under the conditions of a Second Parent Adoption.

The choice between domestic partnership or marriage is also affected by inheritance considerations. In marriage, the spouses inherit each other’s estates upon death, but this is not the case for domestic partners, unless they have a will which stipulates the partner to inherit the other’s assets.

The benefits you get in the workplace may also vary if you’re married or in a domestic partnership.

If you and your partner place great value on religion and the sacrament of Marriage, then by all means, marriage should be your top priority. But if you value your independence and want to consider other options, a love and relationship advice is to consider domestic partnership.

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