Dating older women: 40 is the new 20

Ashton Kutcher has Demi Moore. Olivier Martinez once dated Kylie Minogue. Justin Timberlake had gone out with Cameron Diaz. It seemed that the Hollywood bachelors are going “mature” these days. And more and more fellas are dating older women—thanks to the examples of Ashton, Olivier, and Justin.

If all the older women looked like Stiffler’s mom (in the American Pie movies), then it would not be hard for young lads to fall head over hills with older women. But is this trend in relationship solely based on the physical aspects alone? Demi, Kylie, and Cameron are still looking beautiful and sexy despite adding on a few years. But what do these lovely ladies have over much younger girls?

The more obvious answer to the question is that older women are more experienced in a relationship compared to younger women. The “been there, done that” status of the older women seemed to be the main factor why young guys fall for them. Being the more learned in the art of loving, they will be the one in charge of the relationship, pampering their boy lovers with tender loving care. This is the opposite when you are dating a much younger woman—often characterized as still immature and most of the time selfish and insensitive to the needs, wants, and feelings of their lovers.

We can’t help but tackle an “Oedipus complex” type of scenario. In some western and eastern studies, they showed that men prefer to marry women that have some semblance of their mothers. And while we can never directly link the result of these studies to the bourgeoning number of men dating older women, there is a possibility that they are intertwined. Are those guys who date older women are actually looking for “a mother figure” in a relationship?

Women in their late 30’s or early 40’s are being pursued by guys in their 20’s or even younger. You couldn’t blame those guys. Older women are getting more attractive these days. Perhaps the thought of old age pushes them to make an effort to stay beautiful. But they are not doing this to attract younger boys. They just want to feel good about themselves. This is another contrast as compared to young girls who wanted to look pretty mainly to get noticed by the opposite sex. Older women tend to be more confident about themselves—but not in an intimidating way.

Some people say that it is wrong to have a “May-December” affair. In the end, these pessimists say, younger boys will only leave them for a much younger girl. But what is important is that the relationship is enjoyed by both parties. It doesn’t matter if people are thinking differently, as long as the couple stays happy. Regardless of how big the age gap is between lovers, as long as the relationship is beneficial to both of them. Then, who are people to say that it’s wrong? Older men can date young girls. Why does dating older women have to be any different?

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