Find Out If He Is The Man For You!

I was talking to my best friend, Grace just the other day. And we were just talking about how we have found our other half through interesting ways. Like she met hers online and I met mine at well, a cab stand. Well, after taking our risks and entering into our relationships, we think back and well, evaluate if these men in our lives are the men for us! *gRinz*

Definitely, everyone would hope to say, “I have found my soul mate”, well.. just like i do.. *blush* but not many people have the real opportunity to do so. Some females realise that they made a big mistake and that their guy turned out not to be their ideal partner. But there are definitely some who are blissfully in love. And even after years of being together with their partner and facing a variety of problems, they are still the same way – madly in love as though they have just got together.

Envious of these ladies? Don’t be! But how do they do it?

Firstly, you must choose the man who has the qualities that you are looking for! Identify the qualities that you want in your partner. For myself, I want a humourous, witty, smart and caring man. Someone who will be my best friend, my knight in shining armour and will accept me for who I am. And with this partner, he must let me and help me achieve my full potential!

What about you? Have you identified the qualities that you are looking out for?

In case you haven’t, the following are important steps that you might want to consider taking when finding out if the man is the one for you!

1) Following Your Instinct

>> Always remember that a woman’s sixth sense is the strongest and most sensitive. And you should trust it. If deep down inside you, you feel that the man you know isn’t who he seems to be, you might be right. If your gut tells you that you shouldn’t continue seeing him and he’s not the right one for you, chances are you are right and you better follow it!

2) Get Your Friends To Evaluate Him

>> Your friends should know you well and they can be a lot more objective than you. They want the best for you and often, they know what’s best for you. Hence, allow them to have their say about what they think of him. Listen intently and take their views seriously – after all, friends look out for each other and want the best for each other.

3) Observe His Temper

>> Well, why should you observe his temper? It is because a man’s temper is something that you have to be wary of. If the man in your life has trouble expressing his anger in an appropriate manner, then you have to watch out. A lot of women are physically/ verbally abused because of the nasty tempers that their partners have. Well, anger is not a bad thing but if anger is acted out either by putting you under emotional or psychological stress such as belittling you or making sniping remarks about you in front of others or being sarcastic and passing it off as a joke.  Other ways include expressing their temper in an aggressive manner such as physical abuse, arguments or fights. You need to protect yourself from potential harm and it’s better to stop the relationship before it’s too late.

4) How Does He Treat His Family

>>  The quality of the relationship with his family says a lot about him. Whether is it the conduct he has towards women and children, or the way he respects his parents shows you how much he can potentially love the family that you both will ultimately wish to create.  The ideal relationship for him to have with his family is one that is close and loving yet independent. If he is either cold and distant or very dependent on his family members, will be similar to how he will be with you. Hence, be sure to get to know his family, check his family members out and find out how he interacts with them.

5) Notice The Way He Dominates/Control

>> Does he listen to your suggestions on matters important to both of you, or are things get done the way your boyfriend /partner wants? Do you find that you are giving in to him so much that over time, you just don’t offer your own suggestions anymore? Are you spending less time with your family and friends and that your social circle seems to be getting smaller and smaller? It’s true that you might find it flattering to have him want you all for himself at the beginning. But what seemed romantic then, now feels stifling. Does he get upset, annoyed or suspicious when you suggest that it might be a good idea to spend time with others? And does he always track your whereabouts or constantly call you? If he does, well, your man is both possessive and insecure. You need to decide for yourself what extent of control are you willing to be under and ask yourself if this is how you want to live your life.

6) Is He Responsible?

>> You must make sure that he has no problem admitting to his mistakes. When you find that your man is constantly making excuses, refusing to take responsibility for his actions or blaming others for his lack of success, you can be pretty sure that soon he will be you will be one of the people he feels is responsible for any of his failures.

7) How Are Sincere Apologies Being Treated

>> Can your man be able to deliver sincere apologies? There is definitely a point in the relationship that you have a disagreement and things turn nasty. Is your man capable of apologising? Is he egoistic? If he is able to give or receive sincere apologies, and resolve the matter quickly, there’s a high chance that your bond can only get stronger. However, if you find yourself apologising all the time for things that you didn’t do wrong and the forgiveness you deserve is withheld, it shows a lack of generosity in him and that does not bode well for the relationship.

If at anytime you feel that the relationship is not turning out the way you hoped it would, then you should think hard and decide whether you would be better off not being in the relationship. And whether you should commit yourself further.

Never be under the illusion that he is misunderstood or that he can be changed into the ideal partner by your love because no one can make another person change. Never also, rush into a romance and being blind to all the traits in your partner!

Finding the right man and getting into a lasting relationship is something that is not too complicated and if you keep in mind that a relationships is all about two people - both bringing out the best in each other, respecting and cherishing each other and most importantly growing with each other in love. And with that, you’ll be able to find the happiness that you truly deserve and desire.

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